Harold Peterson waited patiently for his client, Jake, to finish his tirade. Jake Bloom huffed and puffed in his smart business suit- his face, suffused with rage.
“But Jake,” Harold tried to soothe, “the charges of assault against you are quite compelling.”
“Bollocks!” seethed Jake. ” I was defending myself! What the hell do I pay you for, Harry? Do I have to think for you as well as for myself?”
“Lower your voice!” countered Harold. His patience, thinning.
“Let me lay out some facts the prosecution might just want to bring to the court’s attention. Apart from this current mess your’e in, you’re in arrears with your child support payments, as well as your taxes. And yet you maintain that none of these are your fault. We need to get a handle on this, Jake!”
Jake snarled, “Self defence, the bitch has her own cash, and the tax man is a complete idiot- are those good enough answers for you?” Harold groaned.
Minutes later, a disgruntled Jake and a hapless Harold took their seats in court.
Harold’s despondency was compounded by his client pleading ‘not guilty’- in direct contradiction to legal advice. He gamely put forward as best a case of self -defence as he could muster but his hopes plummeted further when the prosecution produced video evidence clearly showing Jake giving his business partners a sound beating outside the restaurant.
Jake had to be restrained by Harold as he was found guilty with the judge pronouncing an 8-month sentence for assault.
He erupted in a volley of expletives directed at everyone- causing two bailiffs to charge at him.
“I’m suing all of you!” he screamed. And to Harold, “You’re fired!” as he was dragged away.
Harold watched Jake’s retreating back and sighed. Never had he been more pleased to be dismissed.
Now, for that lunch with his lovely wife.