A friend of mine forwarded this poem to me and I thought I’d share…it sure made me laugh!
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
… T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one”!!
Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey
Pam Ayres
Real Toads- Tuesday platform
September 19, 2018 at 1:19 am
Curiously I have read this one before but it is well worth another read because it is such a laugh. Thank you Vivian.
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September 19, 2018 at 7:36 am
😂😇
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September 19, 2018 at 1:38 am
Reblogged this on Morpethroad and commented:
So clever of Pam Ayres
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September 19, 2018 at 1:46 am
Hilarious!
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September 19, 2018 at 7:36 am
😂
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September 19, 2018 at 1:53 am
Reblogged this on Walt's Writings and commented:
A great poem by Pam Ayres!
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September 19, 2018 at 2:11 am
Hahhahha.. This made my morning coffee spill adding an extra work..
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September 19, 2018 at 6:16 pm
😂😂
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September 19, 2018 at 2:13 am
Reblogged this on syncwithdeep and commented:
Hillarious fifty shades of grey by Pam Ayres
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September 19, 2018 at 6:15 pm
😎
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September 19, 2018 at 2:37 am
So this isn’t one of your own?
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September 19, 2018 at 7:36 am
I wish!!😅
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September 19, 2018 at 3:30 am
Hilarious
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September 19, 2018 at 6:15 pm
Absolutely!😂😂
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September 19, 2018 at 4:05 am
That’s a really hilarious one 😁😃😆😀😲😄 Had such a hearty laugh after some time now!
However still have a very important question to ask the ‘hubby’: How did he manage to still have ‘jet black hair” at such advanced age????
Lolz!
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September 19, 2018 at 7:35 am
😂😂😂- I’d love to know too!!
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September 19, 2018 at 11:07 am
LMAO
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September 19, 2018 at 6:14 pm
👍🏽
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September 19, 2018 at 2:09 pm
While there is life, there is hope!
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September 19, 2018 at 6:14 pm
😂😂
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September 19, 2018 at 2:48 pm
Here from bottomlesscoffee’s reblog. Great ending.
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September 19, 2018 at 6:13 pm
Indeed! She’s so funny 😆
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September 19, 2018 at 3:12 pm
Reblogged this on Stevie Turner and commented:
Dear old Pam Ayres. We don’t hear too much from her anymore. I love her poems – very funny.
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September 19, 2018 at 6:13 pm
👍🏽😂
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September 19, 2018 at 3:13 pm
OMG- Laughing so hard this rainy morning! Thanks for sharing Vivian!
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September 19, 2018 at 6:12 pm
My pleasure 😂
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September 19, 2018 at 3:15 pm
Just love Pam Ayres and so glad to see she’s still going strong.
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September 19, 2018 at 6:12 pm
Yes! There’s hope for us, yet😊
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September 19, 2018 at 6:12 pm
🙂
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September 19, 2018 at 3:21 pm
Reblogged this on pensitivity101 and commented:
Another gem from Pam Ayres. Read and enjoy!
Thanks Vivian
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September 19, 2018 at 6:12 pm
My pleasure!
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September 19, 2018 at 4:20 pm
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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September 19, 2018 at 6:11 pm
I know!😂
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September 19, 2018 at 6:06 pm
A riot! Almost worth reading the novel to appreciate the satire of it in this piece. Bravo, Pam Ayres, and thank you, Vivian, for sharing it! 🙂
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September 19, 2018 at 6:11 pm
She is a funny one isn’t she?😂
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September 19, 2018 at 8:12 pm
Ha… lots of fun… reminds me of the lady who was told that men like women dressing in rubber and went to the bedroom in wellies
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September 20, 2018 at 6:37 pm
🤣🤣
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September 19, 2018 at 9:05 pm
LOL!
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September 20, 2018 at 6:36 pm
🤣
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September 19, 2018 at 10:27 pm
Oh, my gosh..I am dying here, so funny!
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September 20, 2018 at 6:35 pm
😂😂
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September 20, 2018 at 11:50 am
That is SO HILARIOUS!!!
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September 20, 2018 at 6:33 pm
I know, right?😂😂
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September 20, 2018 at 5:03 pm
If that guy wants to live a while longer he needs to see a solicitor about a divorce:)
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September 20, 2018 at 6:33 pm
😂😂😂
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September 21, 2018 at 4:08 pm
This is the third time I read this piece, and it made me squeal almost as loudly as the first time around. What a hoot!
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September 21, 2018 at 10:43 pm
😍😂😂
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September 23, 2018 at 1:35 pm
This is so funny! Thanks for posting it!:)
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October 14, 2018 at 3:45 pm
I really appreciate your following my blog, and making comments as you do. You are very kind.
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October 15, 2018 at 9:16 am
As are you… 🙂
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December 25, 2019 at 3:27 pm
It’s not by Pam Ayres, it was written by a chap called John Summers and came third place in a competition in Wales. Pam Ayres is miscredited for writing this all the time. Must be very frustrating for the actual author.
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December 27, 2019 at 11:46 am
I had no idea!
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