A worthy seaman
our Captain did well
but failed to reach
the promised landLike Jesus before
created for a purpose for sure
he fought and conquered
and now he is no moreMayhaps fallen cold and dead
but his vitality ensured
he walked the paths
where angels feared to tread
©Vivian Zems
Today Jilly is hosting dVerse MTB. We are asked to respond to another poet’s poem, and mine is a response to Walt Whitman’s “O! Captain, My Captain“- about the death of American president Abraham Lincoln. (1865)
O Captain! My Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
- But O heart! heart! heart!
- O the bleeding drops of red,
- Where on the deck my Captain lies,
- Fallen cold and dead.
O Captain! My Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
- Here captain! dear father!
- This arm beneath your head;
- It is some dream that on the deck,
- You’ve fallen cold and dead.
My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;
-
Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
-
But I, with mournful tread,
-
Walk the deck my captain lies,
-
Fallen cold and dead.
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January 18, 2018 at 8:33 pm
Vivian! Firstly, that picture made me pause and just soak it in – wow! Then, your choice of poem for response, of course, took me to Dead Poet’s Society in my head (thank you for that!). After I allowed my mind to enjoy those things, I slowed down and read your beautiful words. I appreciate how well you kept Whitman’s langauge and sense of style. Beautiful!
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January 19, 2018 at 1:02 am
Thank you Jilly! I’m honoured by your words 🙂
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January 18, 2018 at 8:35 pm
When I first read your poem I thought that this has to refer to O Captain, … so glad when it turned out right.
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January 19, 2018 at 1:01 am
I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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January 18, 2018 at 8:57 pm
Nicely done. I like the way you invert the form.
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January 19, 2018 at 12:53 am
Thanks, Sarah!
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January 18, 2018 at 10:45 pm
Nice!
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January 19, 2018 at 12:42 am
Thank you! 🙂
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January 18, 2018 at 10:59 pm
Such a brave and strong captain he is ~ I enjoyed reading the original poem as well ~
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January 18, 2018 at 11:56 pm
Thanks, Grace. Very courageous indeed
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January 19, 2018 at 1:41 am
Nice response to Whitman’s poem!
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January 19, 2018 at 9:40 am
Thanks, Frank!
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January 19, 2018 at 3:37 am
I really like your version. You have condensed and made it very concise. There is hope in your poem’s ending in contrast to the Captain cold and dead!
Dwight
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January 19, 2018 at 9:45 am
Thanks, Dwight. I searched for words that would uplift a little at the end. 🙂
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January 19, 2018 at 3:52 am
You choose a challenging poem and responded admirably!
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January 19, 2018 at 9:45 am
Thanks, Lynn!
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January 19, 2018 at 10:48 am
An enjoyable read, well done! 😊💛
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January 19, 2018 at 7:38 pm
Thank you!😊
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January 19, 2018 at 2:10 pm
Nice! I like how you use some of Whitman’s words, like “tread” and the use of “angels” to recall Lincoln’s call to listen to the “better angels of our nature.”
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January 19, 2018 at 7:37 pm
Very intuitive of you to make the connection! Thanks😊
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January 19, 2018 at 5:44 pm
Well Done Vivian!
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January 19, 2018 at 7:35 pm
Thanks Linda!😊
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January 20, 2018 at 12:37 am
A worthy tribute to a Walt Whitman classic!
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January 20, 2018 at 10:49 am
Thanks, Frank! 🙂
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January 21, 2018 at 8:37 am
your choice of Walt Whitman’s poem brought back a lot of dormant memories and feelings, it is a poem I have always treasured and Vivian, I love your response poem, it magnifies the love for a beloved leader.
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January 21, 2018 at 10:56 am
Thank you!😊 I’m glad it resonated with you.
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January 22, 2018 at 10:22 pm
SMiLes
i JusT
cAMe
by, to:
See A
Captain again From:
B iN otHeR Words
anyone NoW can
and WiLL Be LoVENoW
iF tHey neVer giVe uP
as tHeRE
is no
try is
as LoVE..
And on top of that
i really like Yoda
and
Walt
and Jesus..
THeY.. ALMosT
LiKE FriEnds
FoR A
MeaN oF LiFENoW..:)
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